Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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