I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the day after is always just damage control
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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