Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
