I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
