He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
