New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
