I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
