girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
