Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
