One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
