I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
