So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
