It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
