I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
