He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
