We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
