He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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