drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
