at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
