i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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