Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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