I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
