Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
