im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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