she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
