Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
