i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
