I wish I could punch you in the face.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
