I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
