Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
