If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
