Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
