eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
