Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
ok first of all what the fuck
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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