so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
