My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
