That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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