I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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