remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize