Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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