She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
