just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
