saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
