one two three fourrrrnication!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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