Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
