I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize