I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you had me at cake vodka
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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