You just made me feel so damn special
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
