i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
