you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
