Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We're not piercing ourselves today.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
