i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
