In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize