Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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