google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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