I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
