it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
